Reverend Bluejeans
by Reverend Bluejeans
Summary: When sirius needs help, who will he turn to? Reverend Bluejeans, of course!
1. Meet Reverend Bluejeans!

Reverend Bluejeans  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.  
  
A/N: This is MWPP + Lily. It's their 4th year. Oh-Lily and James are in a fight.  
  
[In the boy's dorm one afternoon.]  
  
Sirius: James, can I talk to you about something? It's really serious.  
  
James: Uh.Sirius?  
  
Sirius: What?  
  
James: Are you feeling okay?  
  
Sirius: Yesssssssss. Why?  
  
James: You're never serious!  
  
Sirius: What drugs are you doing? I'm always Sirius!  
  
James: The other one.  
  
Sirius: Oh. In that case, I just need to talk to someone.  
  
James: What about?  
  
Sirius: My love life.  
  
James: What love life?  
  
Sirius: The one I'm going to start.  
  
James: Oh. Well, I can't really give you much advice there, buddy.  
  
Sirius: How 'bout you, Moony?  
  
Remus: Me? That's a laugh. At least girls look at you!  
  
Sirius: Oh, yeah. Well, I guess that it wouldn't be much use to ask Peter, either. I'll go see it Lily'll talk to me.  
  
James: I thought you were on my side!  
  
Sirius: I am. But you aren't any help right now. So I'm go'in to talk to her.  
  
James: Fine! Traitor!  
  
[Sirius goes downstairs to the common room, where Lily is sitting on a couch.]  
  
Lily: Hey- what's up?  
  
Sirius: I need help on something.  
  
Lily: And you're asking me?  
  
Sirius: No one else would help!  
  
Lily: Well, if it's anything that includes a girl, don't even think about it.  
  
Sirius: Shit. Ya know, I really need someone to talk to. And no one will! (yelling now) F*CK ALL OF YOU!  
  
[Sirius goes upstairs and all the other boys had left. He comes up with this brilliant plan: First, he gets a pair of his jeans, and lays them over the back of a chair. Then he puts the chair by his bed. He sits on his bed and begins.]  
  
Sirius: Hello Reverend Bluejeans. I have something that I need to talk to someone about, and you're the lucky one! (pause) So, I'll get straight to the point. See, I know this girl. She and I are kind-of friends. I know that she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, but I've started to have these feelings for her. I've always noticed her body. She's really hot. But lately, I've noticed it way more. I mean, unlike some of the other girls our age, she already has "filled her figure", if you know what I mean. Her ass is awesome, but what gets you are her eyes. They're like the stars. They twinkle all over the place. They're silver, outlined in green. Her hair is honey brown. It's kinda leaning towards blond, but it's not dirty blonde or anything. It sways as she walks, no matter how she wears it. It's down to her waist, and is really sexy. Hell, her whole body is sexy. Like I said, she's got her body shape, and she's not afraid to show it off. She's really smart, too. Even though she's in Gryffindor, I swear she got placed in the wrong house and should be in Ravenclaw. She's not like any other girl I've ever met. She wears jeans and a tight t-shirt (you know- the kind that just reach their waist?) with her black robe over it all. Her name's uh. I forget what her real name is, but everyone calls her Annie. I'm almost positive that's not her real name, though. Sexy, isn't it? I think so. Well, I think I'm in love. With her. I don't think she like me the same way, though. So what do I do?  
  
Bluejeans: (Silence)  
  
Sirius: A real help you are. Pttth. (He falls down on the bed and goes to sleep.)  
  
A/N: Okay, I had just watched the really old episode of FRIENDS when Joey had "feelings" for Rachel. That's where I got the idea. This actually does have something to do with another story that I'm helping to co-write, but it won't be obvious for quite some time. Well, I'll stop blabbering now. Please review- It makes me feel good!  
  
Thanks! 


	2. Reverend Bluejeans is back!

Reverend Bluejeans-2  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.  
  
A/N: Okay, continuation of last chapter. 3 days after, to be exact.  
  
[In the boys' dorm. James, Remus, and Sirius. Peter's not there 'cuz he's somewhere else.]  
  
James: What is up with you man?  
  
Remus: Yeah, you're like a love-struck puppy!  
  
Sirius: Ahhhh. I. I told you. I think I'm. in LOVE.  
  
James: Ewwww! You can't be in love, man!  
  
Remus: So, I was right.  
  
Sirius: Shut up.  
  
Remus: Make me.  
  
Sirius: Well, if you insist.  
  
Remus: No! No, I was only joking.  
  
James: So, who's the-  
  
Sirius: (cutting in, giving Moony the death stare) Never mind.  
  
Remus: I. I think I'll be going now, c'mon James.  
  
James: Might as well. the love-struck puppy doesn't want to talk.  
  
Sirius: (after thy go downstairs) Good riddance!  
  
[He gets out the bluejeans again]  
  
Sirius: Hello Reverend. It's Sirius again. See, you know how last time I came I told you about my problem? Well, now it's gotten worse. See, I finally got James to talk to me, and his opinion was that I'd never get her. But. I can't give up that easily. I need a plan. Plan. Plan. Plan.. Aha! I've got it!  
  
A/N: Okay, I know that was pretty short, but there's more, don't worry! Just review, please? Pretty please? Do I have to go on?  
  
Oh- tell me if you like this format better than what I did on Evil Flying Egg McMuffins! 


	3. The results!

Reverend Bluejeans-3  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.  
  
A/N: How do you like it so far? I think it's pretty good! Well, enough talk- on with the story!  
  
(In the boy's dorm. Once again, only Sirius is there and he has the 'Reverend' out.)  
  
Sirius: Why, Hello again! Okay, straight to the point. My plan failed. See, what I did was I went up to the girl's dorm in only my boxer shorts. Well, when I opened the door, they all screamed and crouched down behind the beds. One girl, Kimmy, said something about privacy. and Lily said something else. Oh, it was "Get the hell out!" When I didn't, she got all like "Do you want me to swear again?" But of course I didn't, so she just shot her mouth off with just about every swear word ever invented. Well, finally, when Annie finally came out of the shower and saw me she screamed bloody murder. With a few swear words, too. She had a pretty good reason, though. I mean, she was wearing a long T-shirt, but not so long that when she came out with her arms up- she was fixing her hair- it covered her. Man, she sure wished she had something on underneath it. Well, by that time, the other girls had gotten dressed, and they all started yelling' and screaming' and all that. I couldn't take it man! I beat it outta there, fast. And here I am today. I guess James is right. I'll never get her. I should just give up.  
  
A/N: Okay, that's it for now. Review if you liked it, please? 


	4. The end of Reverend Bluejeans

Reverend Bluejeans-4  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.  
  
A/N: Okay, this is gonna be the last chapter unless you people really want me to continue this. So- review if you do! Hey- I have one more thing to say. By this time, James and Lily have made up.  
  
[Two days after the last one.]  
  
(In the boy's dorm, all that stuff.)  
  
Sirius: Hello, Reverend Bluejeans. It's me-  
  
Lily: (walking in) Oh, Sirius?  
  
Sirius: (blushing) Huh?  
  
Lily: Well, I need to get James something, but what were you doing?  
  
Sirius: Oh, nothing. (blushes even harder)  
  
Lily: Sure.  
  
Sirius: NEVERMIND, OKAY?  
  
Lily: Whatever. (she gets James some pants and leaves)  
  
Sirius: (getting the scissors and starting to cut up the jeans.) Stupid blue jeans. Embarrass me in front of Lily. How dare you! (He goes on like this until Remus comes in.)  
  
Remus: What are you doing? (By now, the jeans are just threads all around the floor.)  
  
Sirius: I. (His face changed from angry to surprised.) I just cut up my number one favorite jeans ever! Oh, Moony! What am I going to do? Reverend Bluejeans is dead! (He runs over to Moony and flings himself on him.)  
  
Remus: Uh.Sirius? I think you should lie down. (He helps him over to the bed and lies him down.)  
  
Remus still: (while walking out the door) Well. that was interesting.  
  
A/N: Okay, if there are enough slash fans out there who read this I can change the ending so that it might be better. But I'm not really into the whole slash thing, and so for now, it's gonna stay it's mostly original version. As I said, tell me if you want the ending changed so that it is slashy. 


End file.
